"Every little thing's gonna be okay"

So it took me 3 weeks but I'm okay with it now. If you've read my last post on this blog you would know that I have not been up to this point.

I know it's still really early in this pregnancy to really talk about it, especially for us, but most people already know. Mostly because "super sperm"...aka my husband, can't keep any secrets...EVER. Okay at least not when it comes to this particular subject.

I have really been struggling with this new little "gift" we are being given. And struggling to see it as such, which is something I have never had a problem with until now. But when I was lying in bed last night and laying with my stomach to Michael's back it all came rushing back to me. I loved being pregnant with buddha and I love feeling those crazy babies kick their dad in the back all night...as well they should.

I've had my sister's kids here a few days a weeks while she's working and it has reminded me how much I like the Chaos of so many kids so close together. So it took me a while but I am finally okay with this and if I dare say somewhat excited:)

Is this some kind of cruel joke...

So 2 forms of Birth Control and God said...

"I don't think so Griffee's you need 3 babies under 3!!!"

It's official...AGAIN...we are having another one. I went to the doctor this morning half expecting him to say, "oh no you're not pregnant. It's just a misunderstanding."

Well that didn't happen.

I am still a basket case on this subject. It took us years to have a second child and we have had 4 miscarraiges, one of which was believed to be twins. Even when I got pregnant right away with Gabe I was okay with it because I was just happy we were blessed to be able to have kids. But, I am having a really hard time with this one. We had just decided to wait 3-4 years and have me get through school...well those plans are obviously going to have to change.

This camel only needs one more straw to break it's back!

As if this wasn't bad enough.

I found out I was having a miscarriage nearly 3 weeks ago. It was normal as far as I know for a miscarriage and then 2 weeks into that it got bad again. Heavy bleeding started again. So last Saturday we went and saw the Dr. and did an ultra sound to make sure there wasn't still a viable pregnancy and also to check and make sure there wasn't any tissue left. He let me know the only reason he can think to have bleeding in that pattern is if we may have been pregnant with twins and miscarried at different times. As if dealing with one miscarriage isn't bad enough...add another right on top 2 weeks later. Oh fun.

Michael and I weren't trying to get pregnant but we've only really ever tried to get pregnant 3 times out of 7 pregnancies. And only 1 of those ended with a baby in our arms.

I'm grateful to have a knowledge of a greater plan. In retrospect things always work out how they should:)

Curve Ball anyone?

Well I have now had more miscarriages than I have children.

I had an infection with my IUD and had to have it removed and with in 2 days I knew I was pregnant. a few weeks later that intuition was proven correct. Well it wasn't too long after that when I had a very large clot pass and then the cramping set in. I have been trying to keep a happy face but this is never a simple easy thing.

If I didn't know my body as well as I do I probably would not have even known and just thought I was pretty late. But with 6 pregnancies in the past 3 years I can tell usually by the first few days.

I didn't realize I wanted another baby already I thought I wanted to wait. Once I found out about the new one I was thinking time lines with school and Michael and how we would do this and now I'm just sad. Most of the time I am fine and really almost no one knows but then every once in a while it will blindside me. This is not my first rodeo with this mess. I have been through this 3 previous times, one of those times was horrific for me, but it still is not fun.

I'll be fine, we'll be fine.

8 1/2 months and hair be gone!

How much longer?

I feel bad I haven't written as much on this blog as I did while pregnant with Keija. I have meant to but something about having 2 kids and a busy schedule has thrown it off.

So we are at the every 2 week appointment stage of this pregnancy. The doctor says the baby is big and after 34 weeks if I go into labor they will let it go. I am actually hoping that doesn't happen...*GASP*...I know. I just would like as much of a gap as possible with Keija, plus I'm just not ready yet. I still need to finish they're room, go through clothes, stock up on diapers(both sizes 1 & 4), and really just get used to the idea that I am going to have 2 BABIES at once:) yippee! Plus we really should find a name for the poor kid.

I'll get a Michael to take a belly picture tonight...scratch that, I look awful today...tomorrow.

It's been a while

I haven't updated this blog in a very long time so I figured now is good right?

I am getting HUGE!
I'm thinking 4 pregnancies is 2 years does not agree with my body. So I have looked pretty close to ready to pop for a few weeks now. I am only 26+ weeks:)

I have had a pretty simple time with this pregnancy compared to the others. I'm not sure if it is because it really is just easier, I am too busy to notice, or we have learned what to look for early to prevent problems? I think it could be a mixture of all.

I haven't really had too much problem with swelling this pregnancy...that is until about a week ago. Just my luck, just in time for shorts weather I get Kanckles!

I have also not been able to work out very much (which really does not help the body shape situation) all because of...well...I really don't know what the problem is yet. I get very sharp pains in the bottom of my stomach when I even walk a little too fast. I go into the doctor next week so I'll ask him what it's all about then. I told Michael, this is the first pregnancy I have felt well enough to get to the gym regularly and I can't even walk! Oh well.

I'm too big for me to get a belly picture by myself so I'll try to get one soon and post it.